Life Through Photography

  This semester, for my last english paper I had to write about a form of art. I chose photography.
  Photography is probably one of the easiest forms of art to write about which, in truth, is one of the reasons I chose it.
  All my life I have had my picture taken on the first day of school, at social and family gatherings and big events such as graduation, etc. Its everywhere and it was easy to come up with a point of view on the subject.
  I've kind of always been fascinated by photos - taking them especially. In the essay I talked bout this. I mentioned all the various cameras I have ever used and what I captured on them.
  This Christmas I received a camera, nothing special, just a standard point-and-shoot camera. Though I've only had it for one day, I love it already.
  The only problem is I have found that I am not as good a picture taker as I thought. Don't get me wrong, I never for one second thought that I could take a magazine worthy photo, or even one to just frame and hang on my wall in my bedroom, but I always thought I had a potential of some sort.
  Maybe I'm just getting used to using my new camera after not having one for a few years. I don't really know.
  What I do know is that the few pictures I have taken yesterday and today have not been my best.
  The title of the essay I wrote was "Life Through Photography." I described my life by recalling certain photographs and how taking pictures has changed me. Its something I love and cherish, but suddenly, it seems as if that has gone away.
  I think I need inspiration, but I don't know where to look. I've only taken pictures of my cats and a few sneaky ones of my family members who usually turn away at the last second, making for blurry blob and a mess of a photo.
  It was easy when photography was such a huge part of my life, even if I was just taking accidental pictures of the ground. Now, at a time when I am so eager to capture a defining moment, I have no one be in those pictures.
  I am alone and its eating me alive. I am forever stuck behind the camera taking pictures of meaningless things as the world moves on without me, leaving me behind, stuck with photos plaguing me with memories of better times.

None of my dreams came true,

not until I saw you.

There's nothing more beautiful than seeing your face after a long day.

Make it last forever.

I don't want this night to end. I'll stay long after the sun drowns and the sky becomes dark.

You Got What You Wanted.

Now You'll Have To Settle For Watching Life Go By And Keeping Me As A Distant Memory.

I won't stop trying.

I knew it would be difficult, that it wouldn't be easy. But you're worth every sore muscle, drop of sweat, and slight moment of regret.

My attention is all yours.

You've constantly got my attention. You make me conscious of everything I say and do. I wouldn't have it any other way.

All of a sudden my tortured heart became strong and nothing hurt anymore.

I want to have you.

All I do is think of you and it nearly drives me mad. I want to have you all to myself.

All Alone.

I'm nothing but lonely. I'm all alone in my life. I like the quiet sometimes. Thinking is easier alone, there's no distractions. But other times the silence is deafening.

I could never really love you. So I'll leave you here. I'm so much better alone.

Used To.

You used to be young.
You used to play with fire.
You used to not care.
Your heart once beat.
But now, there's almost nothing.

Did you mean the things you said?

I adore you. You were my shining light.
How could we let this come between us?

I'll be the one out of reach

You'll be the one who's weak.
I'll be the one you seek.
I'll be the one out of reach.

Far Away

I'm going somewhere far enough away to forget everything that has ever happened to me.

I want to change - I really do

I want to be someone you want.
I want you to look at me and smile.
I want there to be a shining light around me
so you could see just what this could be.

You think you know someone,

but then the stars divide and everything changes.

Can't Believe Its Morning

The night ended on a high note and the memories will float around in my head all day

I Don't Know Why

I fall apart when you go and I can't run away from it. I tried pushing you away but it didn't work, so I'll be here, by your side, forever.

Sometimes I can't remember how I fell for it,

how I believed every lie.

Thoughts of you fly around in my head and I feel every emotion

Let's fall asleep in a place they can't see and let's wash all our problems away with the shift of the trees, and fly away with the breeze.

I don't ask for much so please just give me this: steal my breath away with a kiss

I'm here, but not forever

You're the only one who can make me blush with a single look, but I can't take the constant indecision. I'm here, but not forever, so make up your mind.

I know I'll miss you, but you did this to yourself.

I wish you the very best but how could you let this go? You did this to yourself and you're the only one to blame.

Sometimes things don't work out

We lived for love and did our best to keep this thing pulled together but sometimes it just doesn't work out.

Over time I know you'll disappear so I'll hold on to you as long as I can

We're falling apart because its easier.

Our love wasn't written in the stars, it was hidden somewhere far out of reach

Let's waste the future away and let the morning fill the sky because I like what I see and I'm into you, baby

1:00pm on a Thursday 12/1/11 (G.O)

I've seen people kiss before, but you kissed her and I could feel my heart beat with hurt, pumping it through my veins, consuming me. You tilted your head at an angle, she pulled away after a second to let you go, but you pulled her back in for more. For the rest of the day all I could think about was how you casually got out of her car, making my eyes brim with tears because you'll never be mine.

You're so transparent, always running out when things get bad.

Breaking the Habit is easier said than done.

We found ourselves caught in a moment when I realized I need you more than I thought, more than you know. I can't break the habit of you and honestly? I don't even want to try.

Like

I like how you don't care. I like how you're honest, so go ahead, say anything you want to me.

Look where we are,

look how you affect me. I guess what was written on my heart wasn't written in yours

Concentration Problems

I'll unroll my window down to get rid of your intoxicating scent that makes it hard to concentrate.

And its not goodnight because I'll be seeing you in my dreams

I guess I'll keep every memory and I'll deny what I said because there's nothing else to do.

I throw everything away because I don't want to be reminded that you're the best I can do.

You think you're worth it,

worth pursuing, you think you can get to me, make me fall on my knees. Take your best shot, but just know that I'm not an easy target.

You're not that far,

but come a little closer. Become something more than I expected. Flatter me and make me think this is oh-so-real

Broken

Both of us, broken, tasted tears but you've got me falling all the way down and you're the only thing on my mind.

Don't Lose It

We're close enough, so please, I'm begging you, don't let us lose it this time.

Getting closer

We jumped, held together by the memories of a time when there were no spaces between us.

Like A Heartbeat

Hold me close, pull me in deeper. Every inch of me yearns for you, wants more, needs you like a heartbeat. I'm on the edge of losing it and I'm ready to let you in.

Worry

I'm walking on broken glass around you, always worried about what I say. I want to be happy with you but I guess its harder than we both thought.

You chose to surrender

and that makes me feel good about leaving

Maybe

You're moving way too fast but I can't complain. Maybe I'd say yes and we'd have a secret love. Maybe I'd say yes and when I gave you my heart you'd keep it.

Your Arms.

I'm not in your arms. You've let me here with too many scars. This love ended in the backseat of your car.

I saw you today.

It took my breath away. You put your eyes on me and without any warning I could feel myself falling harder than I ever have before.

You're not the only one

You're not the only one for me. You've lost this round. I'm not sorry for hurting you this time.

Take me under with you

Make me feel something. Break me until there's nothing left.

Just like that I start to believe that we'll end happily

Its so easy to pretend you're the answer for everything.

You looked at me

and set my hopes on fire. I can't wait to see you again and I have a feeling that this can only get better.

If you're really gone then why don't I feel it?

Why am I not overwhelmed with grief?

I should stop counting days, maybe then my heart could rest and I could focus on something other than you