Don't even think about it.

Before, every flash of red on the road would cause me to turn my head. I'd be looking for your car with the dented passenger door you refused to fix. Now, I can't be bothered with that. I don't need you now. I don't look for your car. I don't wonder where you are. I don't think about you at all.

What's the point of wishing if you don't wish for what you really want?

You wrapped around my heart, constricting me
You kissed me and every bad thing fell away
You told me you loved me and I believed it
I said it and meant it
Guess I loved you way too much

Should have seen it coming

You're all I want but its not enough this time.
Sometimes it doesn't work out.
Sometimes its harder than it looks.
Sometimes you're let down.

New life on the horizon. Two hours away a new life lies. Too much space between. How much longer?

Ever since graduation I've been obsessed with college. I'm constantly checking my college email for updates and looking at my schedule. I register for classes tomorrow! Why can't August 24th be closer??
I'm. So. READY!

Where did the time go?

Ahhh! Everything is changing, including myself. Lately, I feel like everything is running right past me and then kicking me down when I try to get on my feet. I can't keep up.
On Wednesday I went to the senior banquet. I'm in a strange place in my life right now and that made me feel even weirder. Whatever.
There was a crazy thunder storm and tons of lightning. The day had been like 95 so I welcomed the rain which was refreshing, but not the thunder. Every thing seemed to vibrate and it was just really extreme. The overall experience was what I thought it would be; boring, but I'm still glad I went.
Thursday I had a graduation rehearsal at the actual venue I'll be graduating. I got my AP chord which I'm excited about. There was this humongous spider on the seat in front of me, luckily Alejandro, a person sitting next to me, killed it. It was honestly one of the biggest spiders I've ever seen.
The other person I'm sitting next to, Kyle, is wicked annoying. He has friends who sit behind us and so he is constantly turning his legs and bumping into me. Also, he seriously needs a breath mint.
The rehearsal was taking a long time because we were running through the entire program so the person behind me said "let's get outta here, I got beer to drink." I guess you had to be there and hear it for it to make any sense, but it was funny.
I graduate on SUNDAY!!
asdfghjkl;
Too many things are happening at once which is the reason I'm so scatterbrained right now.
byeeee :) <3

the best things in life aren't things. they're the moments you'll remember forever, and the people you'll never forget.

Maybe I'm hard of hearing, but I can see it all

The music blasts through the speakers and drowns out my fears
Before the song ends I find I can't shed any more tears
You're not worth it and I don't need this

Clouds in the sky all day long

The way the sun lights up the sky gives limitless opportunities
The way the rain falls to the ground and soaks through my clothes makes me realize life isn't fair.
The sun can't always shine.
Sometimes the clouds have to over take the sky and drench you.
Sometimes the sky has to fill with darkness before you can see the beauty in the way the sun dries up the emptiness in your life, making everything clear again.

Gotta look good if we're gonna break up

Screaming out for your attention
Will I ever be heard?

we could have lasted for forever

permanent marker is the only thing that lasts these days
everything else has a tendency to fade away
no one stays, everyone leaves
they all have somewhere to be
have someone more important than me

Sunshine

Follow the sun to a new life
The north star guides
As you're left with no one at your side

Flowers blooming
The beat of my heart
How did we get here?
The lights turn off
Darkness settles in
Hearts beating faster
Skin on skin
Warmness all over
The lights turn on
Illuminating the mistake

Hot Hot Hot

Hot is a temperature, not an adjective
but when it comes to you
you burn like the heat of the sun
Leaving traces of yourself behind
scorching the ground with every move
pushing everything aside

Monster

The candlelight turned your eyes to flames
Here in the dark I can see you for what you really are
Took the most romantic night of my life away
You're just a monster
Saw your face get red with rage
Felt mine dripping with tears
Too afraid to run, you've paralyzed me anyway
You're just a monster who loves to break me apart

"I wish there was an over the counter test for loneliness like this"

Like a mosquito, you suck me dry
There's nothing left but skin and bones
I've lost all hope.
What do I do?

Like a summer storm you're here and then you're gone
Just a shattered shell of a girl remains
I've lost all sense
What do I do?

I can't find a reason to stay
You've taken all I have and you've made me sacrifice
What do I do?
What do I do when I can't be with you?

Sometimes, I catch myself wishing for you
There's no reason to want you
You've hindered my spirit and made me cold
What do I do?
What do I do when I can't be with you?

Joe

You swung hard. The ball soared through the sir, landing far away. You ran and ran, throwing the bat down. Already at second base, going so far in a matter of seconds. Your eyes engaged, you keep track of everything around you.
Everything but me, watching from a safe distance. You made it home and threw your arms around her neck, a smile on her face. I smile, too. Happy than you're happy.
My smile fades, yours gets brighter. Silent tears fall from my eyes. You're beautiful in everything you do.
Your laugh echoes its way to me. I miss that laugh and way you were up for anything.
I stand and watch as you sit, waiting for your turn to come again. I know they will. You're smart and charming.
You make me laugh and make me feel alive.
I'm far away now, walking back to my car. I wipe the tears away and know its goodbye. Never again will I see you in this summer light.
You laugh again. It wraps itself around me and  know I'll keep the memory tucked far away, safe.
But for now, I close the door and drive away.

When I said it, I thought the ground would open up and I'd fall far.
The ground became level again when you said it back. No crashes or red faces
Just silence.
Silence filled with so much it was screaming at me, telling me to take the plunge.
It was ok.
I could lean forward and kiss you.
You'd answer back, keeping things equal, as you always do.